What a wonderful day. I don’t even know where to start.
I spent the morning feeling nervous enough that I couldn’t finish my brunch and had no appetite all day. I kept trying to convince myself of something a visiting skater told me earlier in the week, “there is no physiological difference between nervousness and excitement. It’s all in your perception.” It worked periodically through the day but I just couldn’t shake the yucky feeling completely.
I was kind of kicking myself for signing up for set-up duties but it was then that I was finally able to shed most of my anxiety. Just being there, dressed, in plenty of time, and helping my friends with the various tasks we were assigned really took the edge off. There were several of us playing for the first time and a lot of positive energy and enthusiasm leading up to the first game.
There were 23 people who had come to support me. My husband and son, all but one of my very best friends and their families, other cherished friends, my dear aunt and my second cousin. They traveled from across town, across the state, and across the country and their derby experience ranged from first-time attendees and fans to former skaters. Their hugs and smiles that filled their whole faces gave me so much strength – and they yelled for me sooooooo loudly that I blushed a little.
My husband took my game off from NSOing to watch and he made me the cutest signs. Here is my favorite:
There were more signs, too, and I brought them all home and hung in my home gym/office. Who doesn’t need a little extra encouragement to push harder on the treadmill or make it through a boring conference call?
My friends showered me with gifts and shout-outs. Each one of them was so meaningful and made me feel so grateful, fortunate, and loved. In fact, everyone was so encouraging! One of our all-stars on my team gave me a great pep-talk before the game began and, later, when my league-mate playing on the other team pushed me out of bounds, she grabbed my hand and smiled after the jam was called! There was just so much love!
How did I do? I did some stupid stuff and some good stuff. There are so many areas needing improvement but I feel really good about it as my debut – while it surely could have been better, it certainly could have been worse. I can’t wait until next time – it was so much fun!
As if all of this wasn’t wonderful enough, our league photographer came out of hiatus to shoot this game and captured a really great shot of me. It is the most perfect souvenir from a night I will remember for the rest of my life.
Cinder Block 