My Derby Habits

Tonight, I was walking through the grocery store when I heard that I received a message.  Well, because I am afraid of creepers stealing my purse, it was buckled into the child seat, making it difficult extract my phone. I checked the message, responded, and – after deciding I didn’t want to wrestle it out of my purse should it go off again and realizing I had no pockets – I deftly slipped it into my bra with a sleight of hand that apprentice magicians would find inspiring. I kind of laughed to myself thinking about how I never did that before I joined derby and busied my mind while gathering the rest of my groceries with other things I never or seldom did before.

• I never worked out. OK, I did, but not with purpose.  I would join a gym and quit as soon as I could or buy home equipment and donate it in the next run to Good Will.  My health alone was not enough of a driver (which makes me sad to consider) to keep me motivated. Once I had laps to pass and struggled to do so, I started running and doing strength training regularly. Related to this one, I never bought or consumed protein products. Since learning the magic trick that protein supplements reduce how sore you are after a workout, I always have it on hand.
• I didn’t swear (as much).  So long-time friends are calling bullshit on this one because I have been cussing in front of my parents since I was in middle school. However, in the span of after high school and before derby, especially once my kid was born, I tried to keep my language clean. Not anymore. I can’t explain why exactly but I have an awful mouth. I think language is catchy and you speak what you hear and it just comes out.  Of course, if my kid tried to use that excuse after using bad language with me, he’d lose his video game privileges for a week. It’s totally a case of “do what I say and not as I do.”
• I never changed my shirt in mixed company. Now, inevitably, I will wear the wrong shirt on scrimmage night or am told to switch teams and it’s not like I am going to make a beeline for the ladies room. It’s just a sports bra. I blame Mia Hamm for making this normal.
• I never thought of bruises as a good thing. Now, my team mates and I show them off to each other at practice and post pictures on Facebook. If someone’s gaze dare linger on them long enough in the checkout line, they’re getting a bout flyer.
• I never played a team sport. I was a cheerleader but before it was sporty. I was in choir which is definitely a team effort but not a sport.  It’s an interesting dynamic because, when you fail, you’re not only letting yourself down. People get frustrated when they see their team mates performing beneath their capabilities – especially in a game!  I don’t think you can have derby without drama – but I have experienced so much camaraderie that makes my heart happy – like when one of our girls achieves something she has been working on or makes a noticeable improvement. For the most part, people are quick to recognize a job well done and it feels great.
• I had never hip-checked my husband for mercilessly mocking me. Bet he won’t do that again…and I barely touched him.
• I have never hugged/kissed/had my ass grabbed or smacked/dirty danced with/or, in general, experienced so much touching with other women. It happens a lot and it’s only weird at first. There is a ton of touching in the game – letting a teammate know you’re there, giving an assist, truck and trailering, backwards blocking cheek-to-cheek and so many more scenarios. It just builds a familiarity with one another that is fun to play around with off the track. Of course this doesn’t necessarily apply to everyone.  It happens to me more than I do it but it doesn’t bother me. It’s just silly – except the hugs and kisses, those are nice.
• I never thrived on violence. That sounds pretty extreme but I am serious! I love withstanding a solid hit, I love fighting to stay in or to push another player out of bounds, and – since doing it for the first time last week – I am a little addicted to laying a really good hit on someone.  I don’t even mind being knocked down – often I laugh and compliment my assailant. It’s bananas.
• I never spent so much time working without pay. As a committee head and peer mediator, I spend an utterly ridiculous amount of time working on league business for free – my husband probably spends even more as our graphic artist. We are totally invested in the success of the league and hold ourselves partially responsible for it.  I wish more people felt that way. There is so much to do beyond the skating.
• I never wore a tutu in public. We don’t skate in them but they are fun for public events. I don’t make a habit of wearing fishnets out and about, either, but they also make appearances from time to time.
• I was never proud of my body.  When I was at my most beautiful, I lacked the self-esteem to be happy about it. Now, I know I am far from perfect – I have bingo arms and a mommy pooch and several other flaws – but I am really strong. My gameplay has a long ways to go but I have done things on the track that the pre-derby me would never have been capable of and I am so proud of my progress.